EP 7: Negative people
Hosts: Jade and Deniece
ABOUT THE EPISODE
In this episode our hosts, Jade and Deniece discuss "How to handle negative people and negative thoughts", with the focus on identifying toxic traits as well as suggested steps that can be taken when facing such challenges.
A MILLENNIAL MESS
EPISODE 7 PODCAST SHOW NOTES
[03:45] Today's topic, "How do we deal with negative people?" Dealing with negative people starts with changing your thoughts, responses mindsets, and feelings. Friends usually have things in common and negative thoughts could easily be shared.
[09:27] Jade shares her experience with negativity. She struggles with being positive and negative at the same time, especially since she offers positive advice to people but not so much for herself.
[17:07] Growing up, Jade never had to face much negativity, which made it hard for her to realize it when she had to deal with negative or even toxic people and handle such situations.
[22:50] There are different types of negative people. The first is "Complainers". This is different from venting out anger or frustration because Complainers keep talking about the same issues without doing anything about them.
[24:40] The second group is "Cancellers". They take a positive comment and twist it into something negative. An example of this is seen with people who misinterpret compliments rather than appreciate them; Return a compliment with a compliment.
[27:31] The next group is "Casualties" or those with "Victim Mentality". This group of people believes that the world is against them, and nothing they do will change that.
[29:45] Another group of negative people is "Critics" who criticize everything, not particularly in a constructive manner. This is a risk that bosses need to take note of, since they play an important role in the life of their employees and the workers have to listen to them.
[33:10] The next group is "Commanders". Commanders know there are limits but they pressure others and presume that they can force them to meet near-impossible demands. This is also a pitfall of managerial roles, they often believe that since they can do something then other workers should be able to do the same.
[35:37] There are also "Competitors". They are very competitive and need to win everything because they are in so much pain that they want to feel good by bringing others down.
[36:15] The next group is "Controllers". They may also be seen as manipulators. Deniece shares her experience in a toxic relationship where both parties were toxic at different points.
[42:45] The first step to handling such negativity is awareness, you need to have a mindset that can identify the scenarios. Secondly, limit your exposure to them, some people are just one-minute people, in other words, you can't afford to relate with them for more than a minute.
[45:01] Limiting the exposure also means that for every negative person that you have in your life, find 3 others who ate uplifting in some ways. Surround yourself with positive people and you'll be more like them.
[48:32] A final piece of advice. If you want to change, you have to want to change yourself. When we deal with negative people, we should reframe the way we think about them, the idea is to detach ourselves from the emotions of the conversation.
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